It Takes Only One

        So, I wasn't going to write on this subject because it is so very controversial, and because people on all sides are very passionate.  But I write.  I write when my heart feels out of balance or when my brain is flooded.  The events of our nation in this critical time makes me ache all over.  So here we go.  This is raw.  Just as it is coming from my brain to the tips of my fingers.  I have so much to say and wont be able to get it all out.  Please use the comments here to discuss, share, and support.

        First, let me start by saying that I am white.  Well, I'm pink.  I vary shades of pink, dependent on the weather, my mood, and my clothes.  I grew up in the Los Angeles area with my mom, my dad, two sisters, a few dogs, and a couple cats.  We grew up fairly poor.  We didn't have the best of everything, but we had what we needed.  Nana was our sitter and was as Hispanic as they come.  We grew up with her children and in her culture.  (My dad can tell stories of my grandma watching us play and wondering if we used some kind of code to communicate.  We were playing in Spanish.)

        My parents were friends with many people.  I remember how taboo it was to others, but how normal it was for us, to love our good friends, Dennis and Dennis, a gay couple (yes, same name). They were like uncles to my sisters and I and there was never ever a question of their love for each other or for us.  In fact, I didn't even know it was taboo until I was older.

        My parents' best friends were an interracial, black and white, couple who were each other's Best Mans and Made of Honors.  Their kids were our best friends. I grew up speaking Spanish with the neighborhood kids and chasing after ice cream trucks and the Mexican treat truck for Pelon and Mango Chili lollipops. 

        That was my life. And maybe having that as my foundation makes it hard for me to understand the hate that so many people display today.  I remember learning about slavery and the holocaust and losing sleep at night cause I was so hurt by the hurt people went through.  Even though it was a time well before my own, I was ashamed and hurt by the actions carried out by people that were profiled as "white."  I am white.  That meant that my ancestors were mean people.  That was such a difficult realization for me.  My dad did me well by talking to me about how wrong those things were and how much we have grown and changed from that.  He often used Sam and Susan (the interracial couple) as an example of the better world we lived in and how color made no difference.  He would talk openly and honestly to me about the hatred that once plagued our world and reminded me that if I was a good person, and I looked at hearts and minds and not skin or religion, that I would continue to contribute to a good world.  Like Gandhi taught us, it only takes one person to change the world.

        When we got a little older, my dad would take us out to a Chumash reservation regularly.  We would participate in ceremonies with the Chumash that included singing, dancing, and sweat lodges.  We ran around the all over the mountain sides barefoot with the other children.  We thought nothing of their "funny" names, like Red Sun and Turtle Hawk, or the lack of clothing and influx of beads and feathers.  We made a plate from each and every meal to offer to Mother Nature and took blessings from all six directions; the north, east, south, west, the heavens, and the earth.  We sang songs for rain and bears, and learned to honor the earth as well as our brother and sisters. 

        I wish everyone had the opportunity to live the childhood I did.  I was raised around so many people and so many opportunities without losing sight of what was in my heart.  My parents taught me to love.  I was surrounded by color, culture, and differences.  I never knew anything else.

        Maybe it was the lack of technology, or the since of mutual respect, but I never saw or experienced the hate that I do today.  I feel like we have taken our rights to an extreme level and our expressions have become loud and unforgiving.  We profile and separate ourselves as victims of our own society.  We are entitled.  And we are gaining nothing for it.

        I am not sure when it started, but I remember seeing the beating of Rodney King and think that is when we became victims of ourselves.  People were raged and riots were started in the name of race and police brutality.  There were fires, vandalism, and lots of violence.  And for eternity people reference that when they feel their rights violated or their race threatened.  It was viewed as a white on black crime.  I think that many people just assumed that they would end up like Mr. King, just cause of their skin color.   So they began to resist.  With the assumption of a beat down coming people started to fight back.  And so, the police needed to increase force.  What was once fists and batons used to subdue a feisty individual have become tasers and beanbag shooters and most recently a robot.

        We have stopped listening to the law.  And since we are all victims, we have to record it all for evidence.  And now we have internet.  So we stream our run-ins with the law as a way to gain support and to "out" the crooked cops.  And we share it, over and over and over.  We anger the masses with clips and assumptions.  But, truth talk, we RARELY get the whole picture.  Without lying or bending the truth we can tell a story with only parts.  So, we can show the aftermath of a cop shooting or the middle of a take down, and tell or assume any story that occurred before the video started and, of course, after the recording stops.  As we share that, more and more people get angry and feel victimized. 

        Here's the thing - we live in a country with rules, with laws.  As citizens (and anyone who chooses to be in our country), we are to obey them.  When we make the CHOICE not to obey them, there are consequences.  It doesn't matter what color or religion or sex you are, you are still supposed to follow the rules.  When you are asked to show your hands or to step out of your car and you flat out refuse, what is the authority supposed to assume?  That you are joking?  Just having a bad day?  Guess what?  They don't.  They assume that you have a no good reason for your defiance and will do whatever it takes to protect their own lives and the lives of the community they have vowed to protect and serve.  When you fight back, expect them to not only fight back, but to win.  They are the law.  You are not.

        People die in the hands of the law every day.  People fight and resist every day.  Color doesn't matter.  And we need to stop making that a thing.  Black lives do matter, but so do white lives, Indian lives, brown lives, pink lives, and so forth.  The fact that we even have to declare that any lives matter shows how much is wrong with our society.

        We need to STOP being victims.  We need to follow the law and when we don't, we need to help ourselves by being obedient.  I am not saying that the cops are always right. And I am not saying that hate/race crimes don't occur.  What I am saying is that we need to stop victimizing ourselves and start following the law.  We need to learn from our past and move forward.  We are a well blended society and to begin to separate ourselves into racial or religious groups now would be a shame for all that we have overcome and fought for. 

     We are all humans and we will forever live amongst each other.  There is no where else to go.  If we are gonna make this work we need to stop the hatred and find a common ground.  Or we will quickly kill ourselves off and that will be the end of the human race.  All due to selfishness.  Do yourself a favor and don't be the cause of your own hurt and demise.